On the Other Hand
So, my mother-in-law lives with us. It seemed like a good idea at the time we all decided to live together. She is in her 70s and has some minor health issues, but had been in the hospital and kept it a secret because she "didn't want to bother us." Then, a tornado demolished her house, so we said, just move in with us. The problem is, no one in the family, especially her own children even liked her! She has no real maternal instinct and is about as warm and loving as an ice sculpture. I figured that it was just because no one ever showed her love or caring, so I made it my personal goal to help her live out the rest of her days happily being taken care of.
I have tried and tried to make her happy. I let her think she is in charge of most everywhere in the house. She loves yardwork, so I let her select and plant all the flowers. I cook meals for her. She suggests menu items to me so I can cook them for her. I like to cook, so that's no big deal. I have let her volunteer to clean my house "like a house should be clean," pretending to ignore the obvious insult. I have added various chotskys and other sundry items she thinks will look good around the house. She "owns" the entire third floor and half of the second because she loves things more than she loves people. She has three bedrooms, the living room, dining room, and two bathrooms. They are all crammed with her stuff. My husband and I occupy three rooms including the kitchen since she doesn't cook. We hold the mortgage and pay all the bills. She lives here without cost to her. But, she is still not happy.
She complains about everything. Everything. And she talks. From the moment her feet hit the floor in the morning to the time she falls asleep in her recliner at night, she talks. About everything and about nothing. From "Oh, it is time to get the paper," to "I know you think I am crazy but I think you aren't dealing with your daughter the way I would" to "I am just going to sit home since gas is so high" she comments on everything and, worse, derides everything. I don't think she knows how to give a compliment. We all listen, but all the talking is negative. I really don't think she knows how to be happy or how to find happiness in anything.
Today there was a diatribe because it is too complicated to make a copy of anything anymore. Even with Kinko's, there is something to gripe about. Wow, having first taught needing a mimeograph machine and those tissue paper carbons to make copies, I think Kinko's is amazing. She's 24 years older than I am and she thinks Kinko's is the devil.
Really, I don't mind her taking over the house. I like my stuff, love my husband, hold the mortgage (it's in my name), do all the cooking (she really can't cook), so I know it is really my house. I don't mind sharing the dog even though she has taken to feeding it ice cream from a spoon and tells me I have lost my dog to her because they are better friends. I just want the talking to stop. There is nothing wrong with shutting up occasionally. No one wants to listen to 24/7 complaining. I just want some quiet.
Is that too much to ask?
I have tried and tried to make her happy. I let her think she is in charge of most everywhere in the house. She loves yardwork, so I let her select and plant all the flowers. I cook meals for her. She suggests menu items to me so I can cook them for her. I like to cook, so that's no big deal. I have let her volunteer to clean my house "like a house should be clean," pretending to ignore the obvious insult. I have added various chotskys and other sundry items she thinks will look good around the house. She "owns" the entire third floor and half of the second because she loves things more than she loves people. She has three bedrooms, the living room, dining room, and two bathrooms. They are all crammed with her stuff. My husband and I occupy three rooms including the kitchen since she doesn't cook. We hold the mortgage and pay all the bills. She lives here without cost to her. But, she is still not happy.
She complains about everything. Everything. And she talks. From the moment her feet hit the floor in the morning to the time she falls asleep in her recliner at night, she talks. About everything and about nothing. From "Oh, it is time to get the paper," to "I know you think I am crazy but I think you aren't dealing with your daughter the way I would" to "I am just going to sit home since gas is so high" she comments on everything and, worse, derides everything. I don't think she knows how to give a compliment. We all listen, but all the talking is negative. I really don't think she knows how to be happy or how to find happiness in anything.
Today there was a diatribe because it is too complicated to make a copy of anything anymore. Even with Kinko's, there is something to gripe about. Wow, having first taught needing a mimeograph machine and those tissue paper carbons to make copies, I think Kinko's is amazing. She's 24 years older than I am and she thinks Kinko's is the devil.
Really, I don't mind her taking over the house. I like my stuff, love my husband, hold the mortgage (it's in my name), do all the cooking (she really can't cook), so I know it is really my house. I don't mind sharing the dog even though she has taken to feeding it ice cream from a spoon and tells me I have lost my dog to her because they are better friends. I just want the talking to stop. There is nothing wrong with shutting up occasionally. No one wants to listen to 24/7 complaining. I just want some quiet.
Is that too much to ask?
posted by Mrs. J @ 1:33 PM
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